too pretty to frown ▼

Thursday, February 13

4:25:00 PM ; milestones

two days ago, another chapter of my book had finally come to an end. it was one of those chapters which speaks to you the most, and you feel so overwhelmed with emotions that you don't feel like turning the pages just yet. the kind of pages you find yourself re-reading on quiet and lonely nights, just to experience the amazing whirlwind of memories all over again. as excited as i am for what the future entails, i don't feel ready to move on. i don't want to grow up and grow old. can i be your little girl all over again please?

fang's up

xoxo

Sunday, January 5

1:55:00 AM ; scarred beast

(want to strangle something, i wrote a long ass post and i switched to another app and when i switched it back, the post was gone. just like that ugh)

the first week of 2014 is coming to an end which means that the last two months of school is drawing near as well. as much as i want to graduate quickly, i'm totally dreading the upcoming assignments + assessments :-( plus, the fact that i'm still a teeny weeny bit unsure of what i really want to do after poly makes graduating extremely overwhelming. how can you expect an individual, who is barely reaching 20 years of age (not enough life experiences etc if you ask me, but hell, nobody is so goodbye), to decide what she wants to do for the rest of her life??? okay shhhh, i know i'm being whiny and all but just let me be for a bit ya.

first day of 2014 went by as per normal. as how the famsy usually 'celebrates' it - staying at home and doing our own lazy things. i sort of like it that way? yea :-)

went out with the boyf on the third day of 2014 (how annoying is it that i keep saying 'of 2014' hehe). satisfied his craving and we sort of aimlessly rode around bcs no plans hahaha anyway i'm pretty use to riding ruby/bee/b (ya he named his bike. and other things too. what is it with guys and naming of their stuff???) but my butt will always always be sooooooo numb afterwards ugh. so ya, butt x bike issues. oh oh and he brought us to a really nice starbucks outlet :3 maybe that'll be our frequent date place bcs it's just so peaceful and not crowded #rare

getting dragged to a wedding later ugh. slightly nervous because this will be the first time i'm attending a huge event since i've donned the hijab. yes, i'm scared bcs i'm socially awkward which means major meltdown bcs questions from everyone and everywhere!!!!!!!!!! i pray that it'll go by smoothly and w/o much stupidity on my part :>

okay wow, i think i managed to pen down everything that was originally written? ugh, once bitten twice shy. must always rmb to save yas!

fang's up.

xoxo

Wednesday, January 1

2:31:00 PM ; happy twenty fourteen

ah, a new year.

let's try to make this a habit.

fang's up.

xoxo

Sunday, May 12

11:01:00 PM ; the fourth

earlier this month, one of the bestfs asked me "why do i not see a single photo of you and him?". and tbqh, it got me thinking for a while. why am i so intent on keeping our relationship a secret? like seriously, when we first got together, i wasn't planning on telling anyone except for sissy and the bestfs.

but the past few days have reminded me of the reason. was talking to a friend who had a fight with her boyfriend and one of my responses was a disbelief "seriously?". what she (and a few others) said is the number one reason as to why i sometimes regret making our relationship public - "you wouldn't understand because you're still in your honeymoon period". maybe that's why i don't like to interact with the boyf on the social networking sites, because ik deep down in everyone's heart when they see us talking, they'll gag and say "honeymoon period".

to be frank, i'm not one for public display of affections. i hate people who take to twitter and facebook and whatnots to declare their undying love for their significant other. but the boyf's a complete opposite. and when i don't reciprocate, i feel like such an ass. i sometimes find myself having to do things that i usually find extremely hard to do. i'm not saying i'm being forced to do something i don't like (which i absolutely hate), but with the boyf, i want to do it. i just don't feel comfortable with making it so open for everybody to see and judge.

anyway, isn't a relationship supposed to be between two people only? so, why so nosey ya :-)

fang's up.

xoxo

Friday, March 1

6:15:00 PM ; all my life i pray for someone like you

Imagine my joy when the boyf told me that his friends know me as bunny!!! Okay fine. They initially identified me as "gombak" but let's not talk about that okay :-( Plus, I also found out that his friends are major ass stalkers hahaha (my friends are too, so I'm pretty used to it oooooooop) Oh and yesterday after our ~~short~~ running session, the boyf asked me "Why do girls like to wear FBTs? Does it make them feel sexy?" I looked down at my cutesy polka dotted slippers (bought them at 5$ because covered shoes ALWAYS give me blisters sadfez), my too-big NP tee, my bespectacled masai face and my messy ass hair, before looking back at him with a pointed look "Definitely not sexy"

fang's up.
xoxo

Wednesday, February 20

7:20:00 PM ; a little fall of rain

so yes, i'm officially done with year two! it's pretty surreal how in around two months, it'll already be my third year in poly. and once again, i muse about how old i feel despite being only nineteen this year. thinking back, when i turned eighteen last year, i didn't do anything exciting hm. maybe i should do something crazy on my birthday this year aye ;) anyway, i recently found out that people actually do read my blog oh my, i am pleasantly surprised! hello fellow readers haha i know a good bunch of you stil have examinations and internships, so i wish you all the best and strength to pull through everything! praying for the bestest for all of you lovely people ♥

fang's up

xoxo

Sunday, February 3

3:57:00 PM ; hipster

that shit feeling when you find out you have an exam on valentine's day hais :c but it's okay, because the boyf apparently has a full day class that day too so we're pretty even :-)
fang's up
xoxo

Monday, October 15

10:43:00 PM ; love

today, i legit thought i was going to lose my mum. was getting ready for first day back to school when she suddenly opened the bedroom door and whined that she's getting a little dizzy. i told her to sit/lie down first as i tried to rush through my getting dressed for school process (almost impossible, might i add). halfway through, mum called out to me and she said that she's cold. okay fuck at that point of time, the only thing that went through my mind was "my mum's dying". muslims (or people in general? i'm not too sure) believe that when a person is dying, their limbs or mostly the feet will be cold. and shit, i touched mum's feet + hands and it was mad cold. my mind just totally blanked out and all i could do was to hold her hands to try and keep her warm. she told me to contact dad and i somehow managed to call him (just in time too, seconds later he would have entered some room where the service/signal doesn't work). he rushed down and we finally went to the polyclinic. she was dizzy throughout and was trying her best to keep herself awake by sniffing her handkerchief which had that strong oil smell. the wait was agonizing. in my mind, i kept thinking that every minute wasted waiting was a minute closer to losing her. idk okay, i've seen this happen too many times with both my parents. i don't want to lose any of them anytime soon. i still want to reach home and tell my mum about the stupid things i saw throughout the day. i still want to see my dad come home from work all lethargic and still being gross about the weirdest things (his tooth, for example). furthermore, i don't think the death of any (or worse, both) of my parents will leave a particularly positive impact on my siblings who are still in their sensitive teen years. please, let them live healthily for as long as possible. let them be alive to see at least one of us get married and have kids. insya'allah, amin.

fang's up.

xoxo

Saturday, September 22

6:39:00 PM ; musings

So here I am, in a fairly uncomfortable, yet comfy, position on the small couch. Hands flying across the keyboard as my mind conjures up the sentences that seem to make sense in my head but when typed out, doesn't sound as great as I hoped it to be. And, I digress. I still have close to two hundred 'cover photos' left. Seeing as how I don't blog as often as I used to, it'll probably be around ten years before there's none left. In ten years' time, I'll be 38 28 years old (omg just realised i made a huuuuuuuuuge mistake and didn't notice it until today #blind). I wonder if I would still be into blogging then? Maybe technology would have advanced so far and so fast that blogging will be considered old school/outdated? Hell, would I still be alive then? It's scary to think how one day, I will be an adult in the real world and these things won't matter as much as it used to. In two years' time, it'll be the big two-oh. By then, I would have hopefully graduated from poly. From there, what am I going to do? Continue studying and get a degree? Go down a slightly different, but still relevant path? Or start working? It's scary. In two years' time, I would have to make another big ol' decision which might (or might not) determine my future. When did living become such a scary occupation?

fang's up

xoxo

Tuesday, September 11

11:55:00 PM ; fluffy bits

Away for less than two months and I return with such an angsty post. I apologize /bows/ Anyway, am gonna talk about my day, some of the wishes I got and reviewing last year's September :)

My day's ending soon. Honestly speaking, I didn't enjoy it much. If I had to describe my day with a phrase, it'll be rollercoaster ride. I'm not even kidding. I spent like half of the day rolling around in bed. One eighth of the day was spent feeling elated/shocked at some of the birthday wishes that I got throughout the day. The other eighth was spent eating at Manhattan Fish Market, yumz. The last quarter was spent getting scolded. Oh man, I wish I was kidding too. I wouldn't go into details, because I don't want to sound like some self-centred, spoilt brat. All I can say is that, is this how turning eighteen feels like? Hm.

Every year, for as long as I can remember, the bestfs were always one of the first few to wish me and their messages always had the hugest impact on me. Not surprising actually hehe :B This year, they were the first batch of people to actually celebrate my day (three weeks early lol). These crazy asses took me completely by surprise when they pulled out the (smashed) cupcakes and said "I'm so sorry it turned out like this omg" And okay, so I was a little slow to catch on but when I finally figured that they were actually celebrating it then, I managed to actually hold in my tears. WHICH IS A HUGE ACHIEVEMENT FOR ME PLS. I suck at holding in my tears lol loser. Well anyway, got more birthday wishes this year. I'm shocked tbqh lol but thank you to all nonetheless. It gives me hope that you actually took the time to wish me /throws confetti/

September's still my favourite month. Even though it's pretty rocky and annoying at the start, like what I said a year ago, "Nah, I like to be positive. I'm just learning new things everyday". Last year, the days leading up to my day were a rollercoaster ride too. But the eve of my day was the bestest present that I've ever given to myself. "I'll never get a more perfect present in years to come." Yes, indeed. I'm going to this year's SWC too, but sadly it falls during the December period. If it was during my favourite month, it would have been another awesome birthday :') Stumbled upon one of the most aw-inducing thing that anyone has ever said to me, "Think of the pillow as me, so when you're sad, hug the pillow like you're hugging me. So I'll always be with you in your time of need." I love her to bits.

fang's up.

xoxo

12:05:00 AM ; the 11th of September

happy eighteenth birthday to me.
proper post soon.
fang's up.
xoxo

Monday, September 10

7:52:00 PM ; lapslock

hi, it's the eve of my day and i feel horrible. there should be some sort of law against being exposed to negative things on the eve of one's birthday. i wish i was in bed right now. then, i could easily sleep the rest of the day away after i'm done with this. but the laptop's being an asshole at the moment because it refuses to charge when i'm in a certain position. i've been forking out so much for your well-being, and this is how you treat me. am now stuck on the couch in the living room where i'm exposed to everyone's bullshits. i know i'm acting like a spoilt brat but screw you, i have the right to act this way since everyone decided that hey let's take control of her life now because it's her birthday tmr and no one deserves to feel even the tiniest ounce of happiness or some shit like that. bye bitch, i'm done.

fang's up

xoxo

Sunday, July 22

12:52:00 AM ; lazy love

worst time to have a mental breakdown, ever.
fang's up.
xoxo

Sunday, June 24

2:08:00 AM ; our innocence

It's midnight so I officially have one day left before the school term starts (again, ugh). I think it's pretty remarkable how I'm actually blogging now, instead of two weeks later seeing as how as of late, I seem to have this blog-and-disappear-for-a-month habit. A horrible habit, may I add? Meh, let's just talk about my holidays. (using twitter to check what i did on each day, which pretty much sums up how fucking horrible my memory is lol) (twitter needs an archive system ASAP) (you guys should follow me on twitter @inkedbunnies because that's like my blog now) (i still love you blogger)

11 June

At around midnight, I was reading an LBD book (instead of sleeping lol I have issues) (OH AND I BORROWED FIVE LBD BOOKS WOOHOO) and quoted something from the book - "you don't look at Ann the way you looked at her" "how's that?" "like you could look at her for the rest of your life". Hm, I would want a husband like that. But I sort of don't plan on getting married anymore. At first, I got put off by the giving birth video that the ITBD lecturer showed us on a Monday morning. Splendid start to the day and the week. At that point, I was still okay with getting married. I just didn't want to give birth. So in my mind, I just had to find someone who wouldn't mind adopting a child (why do i make it sound so easy). However, that one thing that happened to me recently, made me totally sure about not getting married ever. I say that, but deep inside, I'm secretly hoping for a guy to prove me wrong :')

12 June

I had training that day (terribly and horribly hot day + training = ew). Plus, I actually forgot that it was Mum's birthday that day. Horrible daughter, omg. Dad brought some food home and we had a field day taking photos and making fun of each other (lovely family). #funnygifoftheday - (click here)

13 June

Dad went to work (as usual, duh) and the others went to visit Cik Rose + her newborn. (she's so fair and strangely enough, looks like a korean) (also, she's a lazybum who refuses to open her eyes lol) I was left alone at home because I'm a lazybum too. Also, I watched AM3 for the first time that day. Was also scrolling through twitter and whatsapping polymates. It was just hilarious omg. But the show itself was just meh.

14 June

Busy little bee. Had to go back to the centre for the running records + audio recording. Afterwards, met up with 1/3 of bestfs (lol basically only one) to search for the birthday girl's present. We chanced upon an awesome shop at Vivocity omfg. I ended up spending most of my two weeks worth of allowance in that shop. I need some form of restraint, don't I? Well anyway, I bought a huge ass printed bag, black slippers and a tumbler :))) I wanted the leopard printed bag but they didn't have any stocks left and wouldn't even let me get the display stock -sad face- So I ended up with a blueish striped one. It's nice, but not as nice as the leopard prints. Sigh. Plus, I was wearing those god awful Anna Nucci ribbon flats that day. Hurts like a bitch. Couldn't stand the pain, so I bought those slippers and threw the flats away. Tweeted about it, and a polymate said that I'm a rich girl for throwing away expensive shoes when they're still in good condition lol. It's painful, so I don't see a point in keeping them anyway. Oh, and I'm hoping that the next Anna Nucci outlet I'll walk into would have the ballet flats in my size. I forgo-ed getting them and when I went back to buy them a few weeks later, no more ballet flats. Instant regret. Oh and yes, I finally bought a tumbler. Have been yearning for one, ever since the start of the year! BUT OMFG I DISCOVERED A CRACK ON IT JUST A WEEK AFTER BUYING IT I'M SO SAD PLS PLUS I HAD NO IDEA HOW IT CRACKED )': It can still carry water without leaking, but it /cracked/ sigh. WELL ANYWAY. We found the perfect gift for the birthday girl in that shop too! We basically found all this in ONE shop, how fucking amazing is that!!!!!! Bestf's dad is hilarious omg. He texted her "I am ready to roll" when he was waiting for us HAHAHAHAHAHA (he was driving us from vivocity to old lady's house). We dropped off the present to let her wrap it and we finally headed back home. OMG LONG ASS DAY ._. Oh, and here's a tweet which got me thinking that day - "i wonder if guys prefer their first time tew be wit non-virgins." plus #gpoygifoftheday - (click here)

15 June

I found out that I'll be getting bursary money this year too :)))

16 June

ECP camping with the family + relatives. Plus, I found out that my field supervisor is the LAECY lecturer last semester. Oh, the horror.

17 June

FREEDOM FROM OUTDOOR CAMPING + BIRTHDAY PARTY WOOHOO + OVERNIGHT STAY WITH COMFY BEDS (click here)

18 June

Had lunch at cafe galilee before heading home. Yummy food, yummy money. Plus, a girl was giving her bunny up for adoption. Mumsy said no sigh.

19 June

Went to Dhoby Gaut for a meetup + impromptu window shopping at Plaza Singapura. Bought Auntie Anne's and bubble tea! Gongcha is fast overtaking the other bubble tea shops, which I totally disapprove of. So you can guess how extremely elated I was when I saw the Each A Cup shop lol. Oh, but the Auntie Anne's didn't have the chocolate mint pretzel so I was a tad disappointed. Oh well, any Auntie Anne's flavoured pretzel is a good pretzel still :) PLUS GUESS WHAT. The shop at vivocity had an outlet there too AND THEY HAD STOCKS FOR THE LEOPARD PRINTED BAG OMFG!!!! It was seriously such a pity that I didn't bring out a lot of cash that day. I had to sadly walk out of the shop empty handed sigh. Headed to school for training (boring ew). Here's a photo to cheer you up tho (click here)

20 June

MORE TRAINING EW. But the year twos did something hilarious after training. We were all sweaty so we stood under the aircon and this makcik was so confuzzled that she came up to us - "kenapa ni kepung tempat ni?" "aircon" "astaghfirullah". HAHAHAHAHA FUNNY PLOX :')

21 June

Was backtracking twitter in the morning, and someone on my timeline was spamming bunny gifs and for a moment, I thought I was in heaven (major lol). Also, I wore out my new bambi sweatshirt. It smells so much like her, and I was just like omfg she smells nice ahhhhhhhhhh i am not a creep ahhhhhhhhhh nice smell nice smell nice smell nice smell nice smell nice smell nice smell nice smell.

22 June

Had a slight fever in the morning, so skipped training hehe. Oh and somehow, I just had the mood to bake. SO I DID OMG NUTELLA CUPCAKES MAJOR YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

23 June

"if i had huge boobs, i'll hug people to my bosom every single day #weirdthoughts" - tweet of the day, 'nuff said. Oh, and we (as in me and the family) had LJS for dinner ^^;;

wow this is one long ass post

fang's up

xoxo

Monday, June 11

10:21:00 PM ; sunset in paradise

Two weeks holiday, and I get no rest at all. Last minute announcement about trainings, three days a week. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Plus, assignments + attachment. Here's to surviving the rest of Year 2 \0/

Watched I AM: SMTOWN Live World Tour in Madison Square Garden with senior. It was amazing. At times, I beat myself up for missing my babies' debut. I wished I had watched them grow. But I love them all to bits nonetheless. I hope that's all that matters when being a fan :) Oh, we also had a short catching up session. She's still as witty and annoying as I remember her to be. Confided about whatever that has been bugging me at the moment. The more pressing ones, of course. I'm just really glad that I've met her ♥

I'm starting to see their true colours now. It's annoying. I'm being extremely mean, but who are you to judge other people's looks when you yourself are not that pretty as well? I know I do that too, but you just irritate me when you do that. You know why? Because you act like you're some big shot who deserves someone extremely good looking and shit. You tell me you're not confident about yourself, and yet your social networking accounts are full of your camwhoring photos. It's alright to not be pretty on the outside, but if your fucking personality sucks, you're screwed. Downright screwed. I wish I could tell them this upfront. Good fucking luck with surviving.

We are all hypocrites, aren't we?

Fang's up.

XOXO

Saturday, May 19

2:24:00 AM ; cosmic theories

How is it the middle of May already? Without us noticing, we are slowly approaching the halfway point of 2012. The fasting month in two months' time. Which means three months to "when are you getting married"s and lectures about being more religious. Yay to that.

Fang's up.

XOXO

Saturday, May 12

9:52:00 PM ; a young heart

I keep going missing for a month and coming back with apologies/excuses. A horrible habit I must get rid of. I swear it's not intentional tho. It's a little inconvenient to update, with the compooper dead and this laptop on the verge of death. Sigh.

Was in a pretty bad state the few weeks after FOW. No rest whatsoever + new school year + attachment + trainings + work. It was pretty taxing on my body, no wonder I couldn't recover properly. Cried a few times in between because of various reasons. I still can't believe what happened to our family. I hope that when I look back to this period of hardship in the future, I'll be able to persevere on with whatever obstacle that I might be experiencing; since I was able to push through and survive this, I can face and handle whatever I'm struggling with. I made a promise to myself that I won't give up on myself + life because I don't want to be selfish to my family. One loss is enough.

Currently attached to the K1 class for attachment this semester (and hopefully the year hehe). I looooooooooooove my kids omg they're so adorable and curious and active. Too active, may I add? When 4pm rolled by, the kids were still as energized as when they entered the centre in the morning. Attachment partner and I were totally worn out, we couldn't be bothered to pretend to be interested in whatever they said anymore \0/ Horrible, horrible student-teachers oooooooooop ;) But you know what's even more horrible than that? Assignments. Piling up like nobody's business omf. Second year proved to be as hectic and busy as the seniors forewarned. All the best to the second year students fufufufufu :3

Training. Sigh. I'm the assistant head, but I don't feel like one? I mean, I'm partly to blame. Don't go for the trainings during the holiday due to work = no clue on what's going on. I'm slowly keeping myself updated but it's still tough. I still feel like everyone is keeping me out of loop with everything. Like an outcast hah.

But guess what, you suckers. I'm not working anymore. A three month stint with Scholl. It's a pity. Mumsy wanted me to focus on studying and got me to quit asap. So, here I am. Today was my last day. My last task and obligation to Scholl was to guide the new promoter. And I carried it out to the best of my ability. I'm gonna miss the promoters whom I've gotten close to over the three months. Antonio mama who treated me like her very own daughter; who loved to share her tidbits and always gave me too much; who attempts to interact with me even with her broken English; whose laughter is extremely big, loud and contagious. Kiki mama who never hesitates to help me; who translates all our English conversations to the Myanmar promoters and vice versa; who is such a motherly figure to all of us. Alvin who loves to talk about his past gangster days; who is full of nonsense and wit; who at first meeting will seem extremely obnoxious and egoistic, but is just really talkative. I didn't say goodbye to any of them because I might just cry. The security guard uncle wished me luck in my future endeavors. Thank you to everyone who helped me along during my first official work. I might not have been able to survive w/o any of you. Although you will probably never see this, but thank you and I wish you all the best and good luck in whatever you decide to pursue in the future :)

sometimes, goodbyes are necessary

fang's up

xoxo

Monday, April 23

11:42:00 AM ; Y U NO CHEER

PRE-FOW + FOW WAS AWESOME SIGH SIGH :')
fang's up .
xoxo

Wednesday, April 11

6:10:00 PM ; cross the globe

A month long period of an unexpected hiatus.

At a rough patch in life. Can I even say that? Hm, I'm a little uncertain and unsure (lol what's the difference). What's my future like? I find myself repeating this question more often lately. Will I be able to graduate from this course? Will I continue studying after this? Local or overseas? Or gain experience in the working life? As a childhood educator or anything else related? Or maybe as a sales promoter? (which btw, i have to give up at the moment because of parents)

Basically, I lost my muse. And I'm not only talking about academics. I don't even feel like dancing anymore. I myself am extremely shocked at this, transition? Albeit not starting at a young age like others, I've always loved it. Maybe it's just part of growing older and changing and all that other cliche stuffs? Have no clue tbh.

I've always had all these fantasies where this and that happens. Now as I'm approaching the big two-oh, I know it's never going to happen. Ever. So maybe, I'm just a little demoralized by this? Hm, who knows.

scary, scary world

fang's up

xoxo

Wednesday, March 14

9:27:00 PM ; rotten candy

Quick updates! I finally have a job huzzah \0/ I'm officially a sales promoter for Scholl hehe :3 Sleepover with bestfs, love them to bits ♥ Laptop sent for repairs again. This time was because of mum :/ But in the mean time, revisiting some of my posts of February.

In this post (end of year 1), I was whining about (the one and only) exam for the semester. The exam itself was quite decent, imo. I also mentioned briefly about changing. I'm starting to have doubts, adui. I hope I'll be able to, at least by the end of poly years.

In this post (mirror on the wall), I was so sure about leaving the fandom. Or rather, I sounded extremely sure. Well, look at me now. I'm squealing so much on twitter, I feel slightly ashamed when I scroll past them on slow days. But I'm glad that the reason I'm still here is because of them tbqh :) I hope that my love for them will continue for a long time, even after they disband (which will happen in the future! I might be a delusional fan at times, but I'm not stupid).

a little unsure

fang's up

xoxo

Thursday, February 23

10:11:00 PM ; peak

I feel like there'll be a major ass change in my life soon. Like, in a bad way. It's just a gut feeling that creeps up on me every night. Lately, it has been pretty tough to fall asleep easily. So instead of letting my tired body rest, my brain decides to be hardworking. I'm probably overthinking and overanalysing stuffs, but shit, this weird feeling has been bugging me so much it makes it all the more harder to sleep. Oh the things I'll do just to fall asleep at a decent time, give my body ample rest and wake up at a reasonable time the next day.

called someone mon cherie but have no idea what it means yeap

fang's up

xoxo

Tuesday, February 21

8:08:00 PM ; munchkin

When I say I've been in the PBG mode lately, I wish I was kidding too. I don't think this even counts as eating, it's more like I'm inhaling the food. Something like Pacman, but with arms and legs (plus long gorgeous hair and a brain). Tch, holidays are definitely a bad period for me. I need to somehow control my eating over the next few months or so. If all this eating actually helps to boost my height, I'll be eating all day and night tbh. Too bad it doesn't.

A little mad at myself for not buying a DSLR. Playbook's camera quality sucks diq. New loots and fangoods post(s) will be delayed even further ooooooop ;(

fang's up.

xoxo

Monday, February 13

11:59:00 PM ; valentine's baby

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD LADY ♥♥♥♥♥
AM TOTALLY EXCITED FOR YOU + AUGUST!!!
MEETUP SOON SO THAT I CAN SLOBBER YOU WITH KISSES YA
LOVE YOU TO ITTY BITTY BITS
\0/

Sunday, February 12

5:21:00 PM ; END OF YEAR 1

Ended school last week. Now, I just have to study hard for the exam on Thursday /screams/ But, at least I'm making the effort to study this time 'round. I'm actually done with 2 1/2 chapters! Might seem awfully slow to others, but this is considered pretty good since I have such a horrible habit of delaying all the studying until the last minute. How I managed to survive the past eleven years with this habit, gosh. Oh, and I'm even trying out a different studying method. Starting my studying/revision from the latest chapters because that's the period of time when I started to not pay attention during lectures oooooop :3

Wanted to continue the previous paragraph with another sentence but, sigh. Not ready yet. 've been contemplating about it for quite some time already. So many issues to consider before I can officially /change/ aduiiiiiiiiiii

Okay ya, that's all. Back to studying :B

fang's up
xoxo

Thursday, February 2

8:37:00 PM ; mirror on the wall

Rereading my old posts on here. Some made me cringe and some others made me laugh out loud. Then there's the few minor ones which made me choke a little with the strong emotion(s) that were brought forth. I'm currently at my favourite month era at the moment. Many posts there which makes me wish I was back in that month. To relive it all. To remind myself why I am who I am today. To make me stronger. To be with my loved ones, all over again.

Feel so unwell these few days. Hurt my back a few days ago. It's still being a bitch and not letting me stretch properly :/ Please lend/give me strength to get by these last two weeks of school and examinations.

Received my second batch of fangoods and am fucking stoked for the last few batches tbqh. On that note, I'm so behind on the kpop fandom, I think I can finally consider myself as officially withdrawn. It's too exhausting, in every aspect that you can think of. However, everytime I get the fangoods, I get a little sad at how I'm thinking of leaving this wonderful group and their fans behind. It'll be as if they didn't play a huge part in my life once upon a glorious time. As much as I love them to bits, I can't stand the overwhelming kpop influence here in Singapore (and everywhere else in the web). I won't totally detach myself from the kpop fandom though, I hope.

shame.

fang's up.

xoxo

Wednesday, January 18

11:32:00 PM ; Random

A thousand apologies for posting on your blog without your permission. You may wish to delete. I believe that you know who I am.

But I can't believe you still blog. How do you make time for it? XD

I love you xoxo (I feel so girly)

This is fun writing on someone else's blog.

I-Z-Y-A-N
Shake that bun bun for your (potential) boyfriend

hehehe.

I had nothing to do so I read my old blog and creep into your blog.

Can't wait for the holidays then I'll be able to go out with you guys.

(~ºwº)~∆ Here's a dorito chip for you.

(omg if you do get angry at me for randomly posting on your blog. please tell me. >.< lol)

okie that's all.

I vill see you soon.

[a/n] lol omg i love you and you sounded so serious in the last line, it cracked me up

Sunday, January 15

1:00:00 AM ; a post before i pass out

guy on twitter shocked me by replying to my tweet
been some time since we last talked hahahaha
nothing special between us tho just mutual friends :)
fang's up
xoxo

Sunday, January 1

11:02:00 PM ; warning: lapslock ahead

okay still no laptop, but i couldn't wait so here goes.

twentyeleven.

what can i say about you, sigh. you've been pretty kind to me. made new friends, bumped into old ones. discovered a little bit more about myself. got myself in awkwardly hilarious situations. average grades and gpa. met someone. five years with bestfs.

even tho i'm still the awkward child that i am. even tho i'm still lacking as an early childhood educator, a muslim, a daughter, a sister, a friend. even tho my self esteem is still at the lowest.

despite all, twentyeleven had been a fairly okay year. twentytwelve, let's go!

fang's up.

xoxo

2:44:00 PM ; goodbye twentyeleven

hi twentytwelve.
will do up a more /proper/ post later (when laptop is back from repairs)
fang's up .
xoxo

Tuesday, November 29

8:10:00 PM ; born on 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month

No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a business person. You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision. You make a well-balanced person.

Fang's up .

XOXO

Tuesday, November 22

12:31:00 AM ; earth

hi noots.
fang's up .
xoxo

Sunday, November 20

2:48:00 AM ; maybe i'm just blind

falling in love. such a beautiful phrase.
Fang's up .
XOXO

Thursday, November 17

12:56:00 PM ; complex

in the short span of about one month, so much has changed.

i got myself a blackberry playbook, instead of a dslr. i can't really remember why i changed my mind, but the playbook is proving to be extremely useful. nowadays, i only lug the laptop on fridays (lectures the whole day ugh). other than fridays, i pretty much carry a light load everyday \0/

am slowly withdrawing from the kpop fandom. it's physically, mentally and financially exhausting. already received my first batch of fangoods and am stoked for the upcoming batches tbqh. but i've made a promise to myself to stop spending, after a bank account balance check the other day :/ so, this will probably be the last time i'll be searching around for the fangoods (or the fangoods luring me eek).

on top of that, i'll probably do a post about the clothes i've bought (sigh) after this few weeks, after all my assignments are completed. and maybe, in dec/early jan, i'll do up another post for the fangoods :)

oh, and we have a new washing machine now hehe.

Fang's up .

XOXO

Sunday, October 23

11:14:00 PM ; happy birthday kavya ♥

through thick and thin; through ups and downs

we've been friends/bestfs for over five years already. we've had our fair share of laughter and tears. we've witnessed the changes in the people around us. as mushy/cheesy as this sounds, i'm pretty glad that we're still close. just like that mini conversation in the cab, i really hope that we'll be bestfs until like, forever. idk okay, i want to be there when you get married and have kids. then you can hire me as a babysitter hahahahhaa okay no. i think your kids will be far more trouble than you tbh.

okay, i digress. have a great one later, you lucky noot. i hope poco knows it's your day and maybe be extra cuddly with you. and and and, what else? uhm. oh ya, i love you ♥

oh and while i was looking for a photo (omg i swear we don't have any decent photos), i stumbled upon these.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEA (/^^)/
Fang's up .
XOXO

Friday, October 21

8:27:00 AM ; histories

8am lecture zzz.
Really a bad time to listen to a boring lecturer.
Fang's up.
XOXO

Saturday, October 15

11:53:00 PM ; picnic + town

A summary of the picnic:

Waited half an hour for the shuttle bus in the sun.

Wasted tons of food.

Laughed at people.

Laughed at each other.

Laughed at ourselves.

Played in the water.

Got chased and splashed water at by a kid.

4 wet teens + 1 dry tuntun.

Town-ed in wet clothes.

YAY.

I'm so pissed at the fact that most branded stores do not carry my size. Whenever I'm in the mood to splurge on good quality products, I always get so frustrated at the end of the day. I always end up buying something of lower quality or worst still, come home empty handed. Is it too much to ask them to bring in smaller sizes? Good lord.

Fang's up .

XOXO

Friday, October 14

11:25:00 PM ; sluts and whores

life is full of fatal obsessions.
Fang's up .
XOXO

Wednesday, October 12

10:05:00 PM ; dark circles

I feel so weak nowadays.
I honestly do not know if it's because I'm getting older or am just falling ill.
Fang's up .
XOXO

Sunday, October 9

5:21:00 PM ; you won't be there

Oh, I haven't blogged about the TCP camp yet. It was amazing, to say the least. It's so different from the compulsary camps that I've been to. All the activities that we took part in, made me see the world (and the people living in it) in a slightly different light. One particular part of the whole camp struck me hard. The mentors had prepared a skit for the last day. One section of it taught us to throw away all the negative thoughts and to surround yourself with positivity as you move towards success. Corny, I know. But when one of them tore up the (negative) paper and held up the (positive) paper, I just started crying.

'ugly' to 'I'm beautiful, and so are you'

I feel sort of blessed to have attended such an inspiring camp :)

Fang's up .

XOXO

5:14:00 PM ; senorita

It still amazes me how someone's words can easily change your mood.
Good job, you.
Fang's up .
XOXO

Wednesday, October 5

12:44:00 AM ; playtime

MILE-HIGH CLUB.
Fang's up .
XOXO

Monday, October 3

9:37:00 PM ; whispers of the night

Mum is starting to get into the habit of borrowing my stuffs. Yesterday night, she looked through my rings collection. The other day when I received my buys (!!!), she tried a few on and told me that they fit her too. Uhm ._. It seems that I will have to keep an eye out for my belongings now.

I really need to start reading the books again. I just can't seem to find the mood to do so.

Fang's up .

XOXO

Friday, September 30

11:16:00 PM ; 'till we meet again

Last day of September.
Fang's up .
XOXO

Sunday, September 25

7:24:00 PM ; sixth sense

I'll be on a mini hiatus after today. Going off for TCP camp tomorrow, which starts at 8:30 ugh. My mentor just called me, and in the middle of our conversation, I said something utterly stupid. I sound completely uneducated and dumb /headdesk/ First impressions last, don't they? Goodness.

Fang's up .

XOXO

Friday, September 23

8:26:00 AM ; blogging bug

Huh, I'm in a good mood today, might as well make full use of it. Didn't sleep a wink last night though, so I absolutely have no idea why I'm such a happy bunny right now. Maybe I need a quick shower to dampen my mood a little. But why in the world would I do that anyway :3

I'm bubbling with excitement omg. I can't wait to see the end result but at the same time, I'm really apprehensive. What if I make a mistake and it turns out to be horrible? I pray not. I wish I could tell AND show you guys what I'm so excited about ): I need to bug my parents for the camera more often.

At the moment, I have three unread books. Correction, two unread books. I've already started reading the book that I bought (the other two were presents from brother; love how he always gives me books on my day hehe). It's a little black dress book, which I simply adore. I remember when the old lady and I were at PageOne because I needed new reading materials. I saw their cute little section for LBD books and I insisted on buying one that I've read before. But for the life of me, I simply couldn't recall the title of the book. It was such a wonderful read, I even borrowed it twice. I never borrow books more than once, that's how awesome the book was. I was disappointed, to say the least. But it's alright, any LBD book is a great find. Oh, and I can never stress enough how fabulous PageOne is ;~;

Hm, packing for camp is never a joy. I'm always so unsure, even with a packing list. Seriously, what the hell is smart casual!? I googled it, but the results doesn't seem to be very camp-y to me. I am a clueless idiot.

This long posts habit might be staying for awhile, I'm sure. It's just so addictive. On top of that, the thought of rereading them on boring days is so enticing. Is that even the correct adjective to describe it? To hell with it.

Fang's up .

XOXO

12:16:00 AM ; lack of inspiration

I think it's time I sat down, and do up a proper blog post. My entire blog just screams; I am a big ball of laziness. And when assignments come piling up, I struggle to form proper sentences. I blame the easy access to social networks for that. I'm forever on my BB, typing out short updates on the various social networking accounts that I own. (Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, my FB account has been reactivated due to certain people /sigh/) Whatever the case, I just hope that when the new semester (or is it term? hm, forever confused about this) starts, I'll be able to adapt. -insert sounds of agony here-

Currently, I have a 'things to buy' list. Which my wallet disapproves of, I'm pretty sure. First of all, I need new clothes for school. I went online shopping the past few days and I chanced upon a great blogshop. I'll probably do a little post on them once I get my buys. But in the mean time, can I just squeal at their collections!? Everything is so gorgeous (ugh, you have no idea how much I want to type 'gorjes') and school-appropriate. I just want to buy every single piece that's available, to be honest ;~; (this is my inner bimbo talking)

After that mini-spree, I hopped into bed and instead of giving my body the much needed rest it deserves, I'm clicking on the Twitter icon on my BB faster than you could say crazy bitch. Well anyway, a girl on my timelist is kind of a partner with the various fansites. SHE IS FOREVER TWEETING ABOUT THEIR FANGOODS AND I WAS SORELY TEMPTED. I won't go into detail but let's just say, I caved. I'll do another little post about the fangoods once I've received them (which will be in Nov/Dec, just a head's up).

The third item on my list is presents. Right now, I only have two people in mind. The first is my bestf (I refuse to type it out, it looks much more qt like that) and I honestly do not know what to give her. The second is my brother. Oh my god, can I just briefly mention how terrible of a sister I am!? I didn't even know that we shared the same bias. I was furiously ranting about this on Twitter (hehe).

Fourth item is dollymag! Ever since I discovered its existence, my life has never been the same again (cliche but whatever). So far, the only place that stocks them is PageOne. Which is all the way at Vivocity. I guess it's a good thing that it's so inaccessible because Dollymag isn't a local magazine. Not a local mag = pricey.

(Breathe, you're almost at the end of the list hehe) FIFTH IS JUNKFOOD, FYEAH! It's not a necessity, but I don't think I'll be able to last through my new timetable without them (yes, the timetable for next semester is bullshit). A few junkies which I think are essential are mints, pocky and cup noodles. If I don't have enough cash for this, I'll just wait until parents go grocery shopping then hehe.

I've mentioned how I'll (hopefully) be making little posts to talk about my buys. At the same time, I want to be able to show you guys my loot too. And this won't be possible without a good camera, in my opinion. Sure, I could use the webcam but the quality is TERRIBLE. So, the last thing on my list is a good camera. To be more specific, a Canon EOS 1100D DSLR. If you're wondering, I am an absolute idiot when it comes to DSLRs. I've never held one, much less use it. I'm hoping that the salesperson(?) won't probe about my experience because I'll be a stuttering mess. I'll figure things out back in the comfort of my bedroom, thankyou. And even if I'm stuck with the terms or whatnots, I can easily ask around. I JUST NEED A CAMERA UGH.

Not a 'things to buy' note, but my left arm is sore. Everytime I move it (like, raising it to tie my hair), it hurts omg. It's my last jab and I am elated that I'm finally done. Those three jabs were pure torture. Dad told the doctor that I have a needle/injection phobia. Being the geek that I am, I actually googled it (was this close to citing wiki but my writcomm lecturer would have killed me lol).

Trypanophobia is an extreme reaction of fear to the use of needles in any type of medical environment. While many people experience some degree of aversion to receiving a shot at the doctor’s office, persons who suffer from trypanophobia tend to take on levels of anxiety that can result in the occurrence of a panic attack. This extreme aversion to needles can lead to serious health issues, as the phobia will motivate individuals to forego medical treatments and tests that involve the use of a need to inject medication or to take blood samples.

Retrieved from http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-trypanophobia.htm

I can actually see this happening to me. I fainted once from a blood test and I will definitely shy away from them for a long time to come. Is that bad? :/

Okay, that's basically it. I'll still be typing out short posts, but from time to time, I'll do a lengthy one like this. And yes, the amount of times the brackets appear in this post is annoying. Learn to deal with it. It'll be appearing more often in the future.

Fang's up .

XOXO

Thursday, September 22

11:15:00 PM ; squiggly lines

O man, I want a bedroom like this.
Fang's up .
XOXO